Hospitals are busy places – and here are some tips they should give to patients before their surgical procedure, as an orientation of sorts, to make the patient’s stay easier :)
1. Explain what do the different coloured uniforms mean? I saw nurses in pink, green, blue and yellow. Do they refer to different types of nurses? Then tell the patient which one can prescribe the GOOD drugs? I want to be BFF with that one!
2. Allow the patient to put mini note on their door, curtain or at the of the their bed to let the nurse/doctor/food server know as to “Do not disturb” or “Disturb ONLY if you have good drugs” or “Wake when the food is good” :)
3. Encourage waxing before surgery. This is highly important but often overlooked. With the number of adhesives that will be put on and taken off pre, during and post surgery, it is highly recommended that, regardless of gender, the patient should consider waxing. This will greatly ease the process of adhesive removal (Who needs more pain? Seriously?)
4. Overlook the patient sneaking in their cell phone to make personal calls because installing a land line costs $3.25 per day. They’ll need those savings if they want a telly at $17 a day! (And trust me, this is not a rip off – the PARKADE folks at VGH have a PhD in Daylight Robbery)
5. Ensure patients bring a pad of paper and a pen and keep it on hand. Doctors believe in visiting bright and early (6.30am) and giving patients vital surgery, recovery and drug information while they are exhausted and on a heavy dosage of intravenous drugs. Ask the doctors to write everything down because, trust me, patients will have no recollection of the conversation later.
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