Don't Poke Me with Your Big Needle!

So, in addition to everything else I suffer from intense needle phobia. Good for my parents, I will never consider being a drug addict :) But in all seriousness, I regress to a 2 year old when it comes to being poked and prodded. I cry, kick and scream, create a fuss, bargain, sometimes threaten...very un-Sonia-like. But I guess that is what fear does to one. So, in my pre-surgery interview I mentioned that I had needle-phobia and the nurse noted it down on my chart. On the day of my surgery, I was admitted to the pre-operative department where I was “set up” for my surgery: IV with saline and a series of blood tests was performed on me.

I don’t know about you, but blood testing really scares me. And the nurse who was given the royal task was not helpful at all. I was already upset with the IV in my left arm when she came by. She looked at my chart and started assembling the vials that will need to be filled up. These vials are colour-coded (each probably bearing a different test). And I was alarmed when the nurse picked two blue vials, two yellow, two pink, one green....and I looked away at that point. I was like “Dude, are you drawing blood for testing or shopping on rollback pricing at Walmart?” Was she the Princess of Darkness taking my blood for another series of shooters on the movie set of True Blood. I’m usually really good at sucking it up, but I was distraught.

Then I timidly asked her, will it hurt? I think she laughed and there was a lightening flash followed by several claps of thunder. I think she was wearing a black cape too. She put a “butterfly” (or something like that) so that she could use the same line to fill the millions of vials she had instead of poking me over and over again. I closed my eyes. Do it quickly. Do it quickly. Do it quickly. The butterfly was hurting. Then the Duchess of Doom decides, let us verify my name and other information. I was so tempted to say “Yo, Queen of Things that Go Bump in the Night, can you do this AFTER drawing out my blood? You’re not guzzling gas or sucking Pepsi through a straw where you can take your time! This really hurts!!!”

After what seems like an eternity, the butterfly is out and she walks away satisfied. I guess I did my part for the cast of Twilight. I’m pretty darn sure ALL that blood did not go towards “testing”. :(