Random Rants...

Even though I've started the theme of "weight loss" in my blogs these days, you can't blame a girl for digressing and talking about something else, can you?

Today my rant is about sky train rides. I feel I lose weeks, maybe even months off my life span every time I ride the sky train. I die a little every day. And it's not about not having a comfy seat to rest my booty on (damn you people from Surrey - King George terminal station who always score one!) or a railing to hold on to...but it's due to the lack of human consideration when riding the train.

Here are some examples just in the past year (with my commentaries!):
1. Someone flashed her naked boobies while making out with her boyfriend in front of me.

Sonia's Commentary: If I wanted to see naked boobies, I'd watch the Discovery or National Geographic channels' feature on the Zhaka Zulu tribe's mating rituals - not take the train! How old are you fool? I should call your parents!

2. Young punk guys with rock music blaring on their mp3 players.

Sonia's Commentary: Dude - if I can make out the lyrics of the song you're listening too - it's too loud yo! Guess who will be cashing in on their extended healthcare plans for hearing aid coverage?

3. Sickies who sneeze without covering their mouth, nose or other liquid-ejecting orifices.

Sonia's Commentary: After the H1N1 pandemic, are you kidding me? If I wanted to get sick, I'd take a plane to Mexico and french kiss a swine. Till then, say it - don't spray it!

4. Pushy people who rush into the train BEFORE passengers have alighted.

Sonia's Commentary: Oh no you didddnnnn't! I'm going to whoop your @$$! And I don't care if you are a granny....!

5. People with big bags, suitcases sometimes (damn the Canada Line to the airport!) who take up two or more seats to ensure their luggage is comfortable on the way to Vancouver.

Sonia's Commentary: Damn brother (who is too cheap to take a cab to the airport) - it's more important for me to sit my booty down than ensure that your luggage gets to the airport in first class!

6. People who stand by the doors and do not move in to make space for people getting on the train.

Sonia's Commentary: Do you think I am a Dementor from "Harry Potter" and I can glide above your head? Move out of the way!

7. Best yet, when the train doors are about the close, people who block the doors from closing and shove their way in. And the icing on the cake is that they think they can fit when they OBVIOUSLY cannot!

Sonia's Commentary: Did they not take any physics classes in high school on body matter and volume. Damn yo - the volume of your booty is greater than the space between my face and the door; so don't even think you can get on brother!

So every single day, I feel pushed, prodded, stepped on on my way to work and back. I’m subjected to illnesses (via the ecosystem of germs that live on the trains), people with weird smells, temperaments and the horrors of public nudity (often starting out as public displays of gross affection and moving to porn within 2 stations!).

If I wanted to feel this way I would have opted to be a chicken in this life and become stuffed in one of those crates that are shipped to the abattoir for slaughter. Well, at least they don’t feel violated when the next chicken rubs up too close (blaming the cramped quarters).


And what are the sky train officials doing? Seriously? They just sit on the side lines and watch people get on and off (and get paid to do it!). Once in a while they will check transit passes but what do they really do with their time? What is their job description? If they spend more time regulating the flow of persons into and out of the train (at least!), and less time checking themselves out on the glass of the fire extinguishers, we'd have a more pleasant ride!

With the anticipated flood of people during the Olympics, I dread what the sky train holds for me. Perhaps I should consider skateboarding or paragliding to work? I’m currently working on teleportation.

Beam me to work Scottie!