So - I had this uber funny though. I was listening to "Russian Roulette" by Rhianna as I was working out yesterday and thinking about the lyrics (I was doing the Vertical Bench so I had to go to my "happy place" or focus on something else) and I felt....OMG - It so feels the same way as when I'm weighing myself in on those archaic scales (the sliding ones - who uses those these days?) and moving the weights along the scale - begging, pleading that it doesn't pass 130 lbs as it goes by...Check out the lyrics below (I also made some substitutions...)...
Imagine I am walking towards the scales for a weigh-in....
Take a breath, take it deep
Calm yourself, the scale says to me
If you play, you play for keeps
Step on the scale, and count to three
I’m sweating now, moving slow
No time to think, my turn to go
And you can see my heart beating
You can see it through my chest
And I’m terrified but I’m not leaving
Know that I must must pass this test
So just step on the scales now....
Say a prayer to yourself
He says close your eyes
Sometimes it helps
And then I get a scary thought
What if I've gained weight, and not lost?
(Chorus)
As my life flashes before my eyes
I’m wondering will I lose weight?
So many pounds still to lose...
But it’s too late, damn, I already ate...
(Chorus)
*LOL* Isn't this funny and sad at the same time?
And I did feel this way as I weighted myself last night and lo behold, I'm back at the 132 lbs I started with. I wanted to kick something (Did I mention I'm PMSing too?)...I kept my dignity in check and walked out of the gym with my head held high.
No more weigh-ins...it is too traumatic....
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Of course I'm in shape... Isn't Round a Shape?
I know...I know...I rarely do back-to-back blog entries but this is something I wanted to share so here goes...
Growing up, I hated working out to the core. My PE teachers and classmates could attest to this. Once a week (every week) we had to go for a 2.4km run around the track (which I detested in every shape or form). So what I would do (with my best friend Raudhah) was get changed into our shorts, mark our attendance with the PE teacher, and after that, conveniently go back to the washroom. We would change back into our uniforms and stroll back towards the college (and in the mass of 100+ students we would be mistaken for an earlier group that already did the 2.4km run). The coolest thing would be that since we had nothing to do for the next 1.5 hr, we would head to the McDonald's next door and wave at the runners while digging into our Big Breakfast. Those were the days of great metabolic rates (I was 18 dammit!).
Little did I know was that the Pied Piper was a patient beast and eventually I would have to pony up all the kms I missed out running. As a Hindu, I'm big on karmic retributions, and all those hash browns are coming to bite my big brown booty! It's pay back time!
If only those folks from Temasek Junior College can see me now; huffing and puffing on the treadmill with all my glory, weighting in on the scales with dread (that can only equal that of meeting the Grim Reaper) and turning down another Krispy Kreme donut while my100 lb co-worker chows down 4....they would say, "Alas! It took 12 years and now we will laugh and wave back while snacking on them Big Macs...." *muhahahaha*
I know life isn't fair - but darn it - I'm bringing sexy back (just give me a couple of months though....)!!!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Weight Loss Blues
"You don't realize how strong a person really is until you see them at their weakest moment" - Anonymous
It is not easy to admit - but my weakest moments have been at the gym trying to finish my sets and push through back-breaking workouts and realising that I've not lost any weight. Realising there is NO positive correlation between weight loss and effort on the cardio machines is the pits! I could put in 3-4 hours per week (just in the cardio department!) and it does not guarantee any weight loss but there was always a possibility of weight gain. Bloody hell!
Often, celebrities in the media claim that so-so diet ensured 10 lbs lost a week; or a certain beach workout was a guarantee ab-builder. I find it hard to believe. Me, a regular girl, with a regular life, who was doing her best in the diet and exercise arena was barely seeing any loss in 3 weeks of relentless gym dedication. In fact, the only time I can claim to have lost 2 lbs was when I fell sick (I'd love to take credit for that though).
So things brings me to the next point in my epiphany (and I think I have loads of those as I am blanking out more often due to the lack of food in my system!) - Why is there such an emphasis on body type/shape? Do women just do it to themselves or is it perpetuated by what we see in the media? Or is it a desire to be different from what we are naturally predisposed to (We see it all the time; girls with straight hair want to go curly and vice versa)? Are we simply not enough? For whom? Ourselves?
I will be the first to put up my hand and go - I am my own biggest critic. If I take the moment to step back, and go, "Hey - It's OK if I've not lost the weight I wanted to but I'm making huge healthy changes in my lifestyle...."that should be enough. And you know what they say - when you watch something boil for some reason, it feels like forever? Maybe, just maybe, our bodies work that way too. If we take the pressure of weight loss off, maybe the weight will come off? Who knows...? But it doesn't hurt to give it a try.
Till then, I just write to Santa and tell him I want Beyonce's butt for Christmas....It's IRREPLACEABLE!
It is not easy to admit - but my weakest moments have been at the gym trying to finish my sets and push through back-breaking workouts and realising that I've not lost any weight. Realising there is NO positive correlation between weight loss and effort on the cardio machines is the pits! I could put in 3-4 hours per week (just in the cardio department!) and it does not guarantee any weight loss but there was always a possibility of weight gain. Bloody hell!
Often, celebrities in the media claim that so-so diet ensured 10 lbs lost a week; or a certain beach workout was a guarantee ab-builder. I find it hard to believe. Me, a regular girl, with a regular life, who was doing her best in the diet and exercise arena was barely seeing any loss in 3 weeks of relentless gym dedication. In fact, the only time I can claim to have lost 2 lbs was when I fell sick (I'd love to take credit for that though).
So things brings me to the next point in my epiphany (and I think I have loads of those as I am blanking out more often due to the lack of food in my system!) - Why is there such an emphasis on body type/shape? Do women just do it to themselves or is it perpetuated by what we see in the media? Or is it a desire to be different from what we are naturally predisposed to (We see it all the time; girls with straight hair want to go curly and vice versa)? Are we simply not enough? For whom? Ourselves?
I will be the first to put up my hand and go - I am my own biggest critic. If I take the moment to step back, and go, "Hey - It's OK if I've not lost the weight I wanted to but I'm making huge healthy changes in my lifestyle...."that should be enough. And you know what they say - when you watch something boil for some reason, it feels like forever? Maybe, just maybe, our bodies work that way too. If we take the pressure of weight loss off, maybe the weight will come off? Who knows...? But it doesn't hurt to give it a try.
Till then, I just write to Santa and tell him I want Beyonce's butt for Christmas....It's IRREPLACEABLE!
Thursday, December 3, 2009
They talk to me you know...
So - What happened the other day when I was trying so hard to be good -
We had a kick-off meeting when one of our key initiatives was launched. And to celebrate during the 2-hour meeting, there was a basket of muffins, scones and donuts. The best part, I was sitting right next to them. I could resist and pretend they were not there for awhile (while various team members were reaching for the goodies and commenting on how delicious they were)...
And then I heard the voices...
"Eat me....come on...I know you wanttttt too...."
I gulped. I could not breathe. I was breaking into a sweat.
I heard more voices...
"Eat us! Eat us! Lather us in raspberry jam...We know you loooveee raspberry jam..."
I bit my lip. Damn....one of these muffins would be the end of the entire 1,200 calorie diet. I had to resist. And I still had 90 minutes of the presentation to go...
Epilogue
I didn't make it.
Alas, I am a woman of flesh; with weaknesses and limitations that include (as you all know) chocolate, bananas, raspberries...I had half a banana chocolate-chunk muffin and it was sooooo good (tasting) but soooo bad! And perhaps I have another problem now too. I don't "see dead people" but I hear treats calling out to me.....
*sigh*
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Bentley has started looking mighty tasty....
So - Day 4 on the new diet and I have to say that 1,2000 calories don't go very far.
The trick to this bloody diet is that you have to make the most of your calories - stretch them on foods that make you full and don't make too much of a ding to your calorie budget. Things like brocolli are great to make you feel full with little calorie impact (But Like Neuman from Seinfeld I say "Vile vegetable!" and need to wash it down with some mustard!)
I remember the first day when I was done my limit after breakfast! That was the end of McDonald's anything for me....it got better over day 2, and 3 of the diet...and now I go over only by a couple hundred of calories per day, but it's not as bad and I am not starving myself.
Two things have occured since I've started my extreme workouts and I've been eating better...
#1 - I initially noticed a dip in my energy levels (especially after the work-outs) but I feel fitter and breathe easier (I'm not huffing and puffing like a big bad wolf anymore!) as the days go by...
#2 - I'm learning to survive on the "better" foods and I actually feel guilty when I don't eat right. I've finally understood the concept of "my body is a temple" and I don't want to feed it with junk. Talk about a shift in mind-set.
And to compliment this transition, I've also started working on my spiritual and psychological needs as well. I've been reading "The Relationship Cure" by D. John M. Gottman which is a step-by-step guide on building better emotional connections with loved ones. I am a firm believer that transformations need to be holistic - and a healthy mind (with healthy connections) is one that can go to the distance when it is under physical stress (new diet and exercise routine). I feel that I can be successful if I embrace all the elements that surround my existence and ensure that they balance each other to make me a happy, healthy individual - well, at least it is a hypothesis I'm testing as a guinea pig! *oink oink*
But alas, I am human, and a woman with intense chocolate cravings. So when they came (and oh, they certainly do!) I go a little cuckoo and compensate for my chocolate needs by eating my baby carrots with gusto that freaks out Bentley. Someone told me to pretend the vegetables and fruit I was eating was like candy ("it's all in your mind..")....and no matter how much of that I eat....I think to myself..."Who am I kidding...? Vile vegetable!"...
"Come over here Bentley....you're looking mighty tasty tonight...you little chocolate dog"
*muhahaha*
The trick to this bloody diet is that you have to make the most of your calories - stretch them on foods that make you full and don't make too much of a ding to your calorie budget. Things like brocolli are great to make you feel full with little calorie impact (But Like Neuman from Seinfeld I say "Vile vegetable!" and need to wash it down with some mustard!)
I remember the first day when I was done my limit after breakfast! That was the end of McDonald's anything for me....it got better over day 2, and 3 of the diet...and now I go over only by a couple hundred of calories per day, but it's not as bad and I am not starving myself.
Two things have occured since I've started my extreme workouts and I've been eating better...
#1 - I initially noticed a dip in my energy levels (especially after the work-outs) but I feel fitter and breathe easier (I'm not huffing and puffing like a big bad wolf anymore!) as the days go by...
#2 - I'm learning to survive on the "better" foods and I actually feel guilty when I don't eat right. I've finally understood the concept of "my body is a temple" and I don't want to feed it with junk. Talk about a shift in mind-set.
And to compliment this transition, I've also started working on my spiritual and psychological needs as well. I've been reading "The Relationship Cure" by D. John M. Gottman which is a step-by-step guide on building better emotional connections with loved ones. I am a firm believer that transformations need to be holistic - and a healthy mind (with healthy connections) is one that can go to the distance when it is under physical stress (new diet and exercise routine). I feel that I can be successful if I embrace all the elements that surround my existence and ensure that they balance each other to make me a happy, healthy individual - well, at least it is a hypothesis I'm testing as a guinea pig! *oink oink*
But alas, I am human, and a woman with intense chocolate cravings. So when they came (and oh, they certainly do!) I go a little cuckoo and compensate for my chocolate needs by eating my baby carrots with gusto that freaks out Bentley. Someone told me to pretend the vegetables and fruit I was eating was like candy ("it's all in your mind..")....and no matter how much of that I eat....I think to myself..."Who am I kidding...? Vile vegetable!"...
"Come over here Bentley....you're looking mighty tasty tonight...you little chocolate dog"
*muhahaha*
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
