1. Last night I managed to take a full-body bath with just a mug of water. Don’t ask me how and why – it happened and I’m part amazed. The second part of me never wants to live through that experience again and would drop a hundred bucks for a hot shower!
2. Because I realized that no matter what the happy occasion is, 7 tequilas are SEVEN tequilas and they will slap you in the face when you wake up in the morning!
3. No matter how much you iron your hair in India – the humidity will make sure that I look like a troll – so why bother?
4. I should not have designed and fitted my clothes when I got to India, fattened up with all the food, and expected that I’d easily fit into a sexy low back halter top! I had to breathe and laugh in short bursts last night!
5. Do you know what true happiness sounds like? Clean, running water.
6. Although India may be divided by race and the caste system, there is another thing that divides us Indians - those with water, those with electricity, those with both and then, those with neither *sigh* Unfortunately, unlike the racial and caste system, these distinguishing lines are not etched in stone and you can easily move from one category to the next. Can you really blame those with "neither" for the cardinal sin of envy/jealousy?
7. You know you're all grown up and ready to set foot into the world of Indian adulthood when you successfully negotiate your first bribe. In India, bribes are a way of life. And completely optional. You can choose to stand your moral high ground and not pay it (and instead pay hundreds of US dollars in excess luggage) or you can slip the guy behind the counter a bunch of chump change discreetly in your passport *wink wink* and get your bags onboard. Hey - I had hundreds of dollars worth of shopping I cannot possibly part with!
8. Anything is possible in India - from cows trying to run you over on foot, to pious priests convincing you to bathe in a stinky river that will absolve you of all your karmic sins (& give you some skin diseases in return - sorry, I opt for karmic sins with a side of fries please!), to the rickshaw guy thinking he is part of a Jackie Chan movie and driving like a manic escaping the mafia, to the Speed Post which thinks it delivers mail to the rest of the world (you knew I had to get a Speed Post comment in there!).
9. Weddings in India are spectacular to look at and attend, but the amount of work and preparation that goes into them can drive any bride balistic. I know that when I saw my sister in her pre-wedding outfit, all dolled up (etc, etc) get on the phone with the renegade bangle dude, hurling curses to him (and all his future generations and past ancestors!), demanding explanations and screaming - I wouldn't even recommend my enemies to tie the knot in India. Otherwise, the only knot they'd want to tie is to hang themselves from the ceiling fan somewhere because the caterer or decor guy decided to pull a no-show :P
10. Wedding de-briefs....ahhh....gotta love them! Post any wedding function, the family always spends at least 2 hours debriefing on who wore what, who said what and who did what. They enthusiastically need to compare notes lest they forget some juicy tid bit of gossip. I personally think that everyone needs a personal cam to record their own experiences and append these to the wedding video itself. And to make some chump change off the entire experience - you'd might as well throw in some paid advertising/commercial breaks and I'm sure all the wedding guests will be dying to have their own copy!
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