Wedding Cards. We cordially invite you to...

Wedding Cards. I never realized that it was such a painful process to get the wedding cards in the hands of the recipient. It’s a science really.

First – Determine what their most current address is. This is quite a fear in India given that the address system is less of a formal physical FSA/LDU type-thingy but more of a “where am I located with respect to everything-else” entity. And address is a living, being thing in India which not only tells you where the recipient lives, but what landmarks surround their humble geographic location. Let me read out one such address to you (completely non-fictitious - I wrote this myself!):

To: Mr. Deepak Arjandas Hasani & Family
603 Mistri Chambers
Opposite Strand Cinema
Colaba, Bombay

Now – my very observant reader, you must have noticed at least one thing here – where is the postal code? The only clue was to where Mr. Deepak might live is (assuming that there were more than one Mistri Chambers in all of Colaba, Bombay) that there is a Strand Cinema across his home.

What if this cinema changes names? What if it moves? What if a gay go-go club opens across the street? Then what? So if the surrounding landmarks change, does it mean that all the addresses around that location change? This is so insane!

I’m thinking of my job in Direct Marketing – imagine how often the National Change of Addresses Registry database would have to be run if the Canadian address system operated the same way. For that matter, how does direct mail marketing in India work?

But I digress!

Second – Inserts – Who gets invited to what? Given that there is a laundry list of events to attend pre and post the actual wedding – Who is actually invited to what? I believe this is where the ultimate “scoring” of the wedding guest occurs – kinda like direct marketing again. Who is the “cream of the crop” with regards to the bride and groom gets invited to all events, while those at the “bottom of the barrel” get invited to the wedding only. Taking a peek at Mr. Deepak’s card, I think he’s only coming for the wedding *lol*

And lastly, giving out the cards personally with a small token/gift. Last night Nisha, my aunt Renu and I were up gift-wrapping crystal bowls of dried fruit (cashews, almonds, pistachios, etc) for select “upper tier” Indian wedding invitees. I must say they turned out pretty nice actually and I’ll take a picture of our handiwork for this blog. But, the part that gets to me finding all these people all around town (cross-checking their availability) and then meeting them (at least a half-an-hour affair) to hand a card. I wish we had an Indian Postal System that would do this on our behalf…who am I kidding…they have the Speed Post and ya’ll know how I feel about that!

Onward and Forward – 15 days to showtime!

BTW, Mr. Deepak Arjandas Hasani, I really hope you are illiterate and have no access to this blog! :P