Day 2 in India

Yesterday my sister and I went to the Indian Post Office to mail the remaining Wedding card inserts to Singapore. Apparently, the service that gets the snail mail from India to Singapore in the shortest possible time is called “Speed Post” – and I laugh at the irony. The “Speed Post” service in Pune is ANYTHING but speedy. Ha ha. We waited in line for what seemed like forever – I even told Nisha that we’ll be waiting in line and the wedding will be over. According to Hindu mythology, a man and wife have a bond that lasts 7 re-births....I told her that we’d probably get to the front of the line in time for her next re-birth and marriage to Yeyati. She was mortified but fully understood that at the rate we were going it was a possibility. Inching centimetre by centimetre to the front, we finally get there and the dude asks what the “suspicious” package contains. At this point I want to fly across the counter and say “it’s a bomb and we’ve decided to take this entire place down with us - *muhahaha*”. Of course I don’t.

After that whole ordeal is over – we decide to have some fun shopping. Never did I realise how tight mall security was in India. Not only do they do a full car inspection when you pull into the parking lot, but they actually scan your entire person before you enter the mall! Crikey! If I was going to blow a place up with bombs and all, my first destination would most definitely be the Indian Postal Office, specifically the Speed Post section....Jeez!

And the trip to McDonald’s was priceless! You can totally tell between the clueless foreigners and local Indians. We walk in for the potato patty McVeggie Burger and Paneer Salsa Wrap. I want more ketchup but dude behind the counter says “one packet of ketchup per person”. And I was like....?!?! The real estate on my burger patty is greater than the spread of the ketchup in the packet – why couldn’t he get that? Then my sister turns to me and goes, “I’m sure they have a ketchup dispenser somewhere” – and the manager incredulously goes “Ketchup Dispenser?” (kinda as if we asked if he could kindly surrender his first born child to us or go for a surprise colonoscopy).

Jeez – it’s going to take a while before we blend into the Indian crowd! I think Nisha is doing better than me though. She drove us to all these destinations yesterday and her driving aptitude (and her ability to curse and show unflattering hand gestures multilingually) fascinated me so much that I most definitely need to devote an entire blog entry to that. You’d never think she was a bride – but more like a road-raged, crotch-scratching truck driver! *ha ha* Ok, I really hope she (AND the Indian Postal Service, the Indian mall security, McDonald’s) doesn’t read this blog otherwise I’ll need to be part of the witness protection program!